literature

a stream of conscience that scares me

Deviation Actions

drowsydoe's avatar
By
Published:
576 Views

Literature Text



just a hyena-faced sleep-walker tracing faces of men on my thighs
those arent laughs those are the sounds of twisting steel and splintering glass
thats my body you hear
my body thats crashing and caving
thats my soul screaming 
 but why are you laughing then?

shrieking into the teal six thirty because if i scream hard enough ill hear you 
screaming back
if i dress nice enough if i talk sweet enough if i fuck hard enough
 i can make the sky blush i can stain the clouds peach again
 i can make the stars stop and stare like they seem to do for you

i remember him now that boy yes i remember him
how he felt it was worth chasing after a stranger onto an elevator
if only to preserve the crossing of our paths by two goddamn seconds and i didnt ask his name no
and i wonder if he ever pondered mine they say when you think of someone it means theyre thinking of you but im sure by now hes confused me with some trashy stairwell fuck

i want to jam my head into the clouds and asphyxiate i want to choke on heaven and hang like silk from the rafters and the rafters in my body are all leaky i guess the storm water in my brain just wore the floor boards out after a while i know that thinking too much does a number on your body but what happens when its not your body what happens when its your home?

i dont wanna be homeless but my own skin is sick and tired of feeling me scratch at my bones and tear at my tongue and there are spiders in my veins where the blood used to be my throat is full of cobwebs so excuse me if i sound a little horse today its just that my brain is trying to kill my body and my body is trying to rip me out of it and im a mess and its a mess and im scared and its gotten to the point where im singing in my sleep and i have to wonder if its my mutinying mind lamenting for the men who were never on my skin or if i live in a haunted house

Comments2
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Hydrogenuine's avatar
Somewhere in my mind this piece replays over and over and over because this is life to nth degree. This is tragedy and frustration and the endless need to connect to someone, something, somewhere and never feeling like you ever accomplish that. This is living within every god-forsaken memory in my head, all the time, every time.

This is more than powerful, this is truth.

Flawless piece.